Thursday, November 4, 2010

Katy Perry Made Me Cry.


Photo Cred

Okay, to start let me begin with this:
I am absolutely not in any way in the midst of any form of baby fever, however, sometimes I get pregnancy
fever. Or better yet, I get pregnancy sick. Homesick  for the feeling of my sweet boy loungin in my belly. I miss it. I miss Hendrix inside of me all rolly polly tumbling in my womb.

With that said I am about to publicly admit something I probably shouldn't. The new Katy Perry video? The one below? It made me cry. Weep even. Tears and tears of I'm not sure what came flowing down my cheeks. 99% of the video meant nothing to me but the part at the 2 minute mark, That beautiful woman giving birth...ya, made me sob like a lil sissy.

Katy Perry - Firework from Katy Perry on Vimeo.

What a romantic idea. A woman in labor as a firework. and we were weren't we? Fireworks, that is. Bursting and popping with life and force and an energy untouchable. Never have I been more alive than when I was in labor.

Read more after the jump and check out some lovely pregnancy pictures. However, be warned they are not all safe for work.


Pregnancy is nothing like you could ever imagine and yet somehow its EXACTLY like they say it is. The  cravings and swollen feet. The toilet hugging and nursery nesting.
All these little landmarks, side road attractions on your way through this journey.
Documented in journals and baby books and photos taken.
It's such a curious time. Never knowing what's up ahead and I scoured every book I could find looking for predictions and answers.
The suspense and magic of it all.
I miss that.


A switched flipped when I became pregnant. I became something else. People talk about the change that happens when you have kids and yes, they mean the never ending needs of someone else that are to be put before your own, but mostly I think they mean the BIG change.
The DNA altering change that takes place the second they place that gooey wand on your stomach, or that baby in your arms, or whenever the moment  was when it clicked that you were a parent.
A mother.
Someones Mama.
Nothing in me will ever be the same. If I had words for what happened to me that day i'd be the most accomplished writer in all the land 'cause lets face it, there is no way to describe to any other human how much of me disappeared and
how much of me came to life.

Love takes so many shapes and forms. It shifts and changes and yet the love you have for that tiny being inside of you is steadfast and strong. The moment I laid eyes on that tiny heartbeat, I was head over heals. I did all that I could to protect and pamper. Holding my purse fiercely in front of me as we walked through crowds. Choking down salads while daydreaming about piles of bacon. Humming lullabies and sliding my hand down that smooth curve.
How I long for the days where I rested my tea cup on my belly. Where I laid in cool baths watching the water ripple for his tiny movements. Where I read to him, sang to him, over and over. Where I wrote him letters and read the ones my mother had written to me.

I had never felt so full.
Literally, yes but that's not what I mean.
So full of trust and compassion.  Needed and loved. Bright and powerful.


I don't know what it is about pregnancy but it connects us. It connects us with women we don't know, women we have nothing in common with.

A movement or an energy, perhaps.

It's that something you can not explain or put in a box or store on a shelf.

It's like the wind. you cant grab it and hold it in your hand but every once in a while it comes with all its might and it knocks you on my ass.
it's there when I see another pregnant woman and I want to run over and hug her big belly.
When I watch ANYTHING to do with birth on TV and burst into tears like giant pansy.
Somehow I am right there with that Mama.
Whispering in her ear.
Holding back her hair.
Griping her hand.
Like I said, it connects us all.


I've written before about how I will always feel Hendrix inside of me. His pregnancy seems to always be in the back of my mind. Tiny reminders are everywhere. It it hard to even picture a time when he was inside of me. I try to imagine him floating in there. Try to connect the dots that those little kicks came from the same feet he toddles around the house with. It's such a large idea, a massive thought it's hard to even comprehend.

It is not lost on me just how much pregnancy can SUCK at times. Trust me, I remember the tears and frustration of having no control over my own body but those moments were fleeting compared to all the happiness it brought.


So my lovely readers I want to know...
do you miss being pregnant? Why or why not?

ALL photos are from HERE


  1. i miss being pregnant at least once a month....i loved having her all to myself, selfish or not its the truth.its amazing to have this human that you are growing and nuturing inside of you. not to mention the extra pampering you get:-) im sooo having baby fever!!! next october cant come fast enough

  2. Ok... so do you miss being pregnant? Here's the thing, I've not yet had any children. But I want to... and I cry at pregnancy things all the time. SO you are not crazy. ALSO! I loved all these photos...I wont be able to find out for a few more weeks if I am pregnant but here's hoping! :) Oh and btw... Beautiful blog - i'm a big fan!

  3. I am actually currently pregnant! With my first and now that the morning sickness is gone and I feel a lot better I am finally enjoying my pregnancy. It is like everything you have described. I talk to my baby while sitting in traffic. But my headphone earbud in my belly button so he or she can listen to music. Talk to the baby in the shower. I just want my baby here already! 5 more months to go!

  4. Those are all some amazing photos.

    I don't miss being pregnant. THe only thing I miss is feeling her kicks.

  5. I miss the first and second trimester. Or maybe just the second, where I felt insanely WOMAN. When I could fit into my clothes and still be pregnant and glowing. I guess that's the "cute" part. The third trimester just left me feeling immobile, in the sciatic nerve will never be the same after that trimester. I do miss reactionary kicks, the quiet company, the warmth.

    Maybe one of these days...maybe.

  6. Yes. I miss it. I've had 3 kids now and I think we may be done having kids. That is so sad and depressing for me. There is NOTHING like feeling a life grow inside of you, nothing like nursing that that little life. Knowing that that little bundle is solely dependent on you. If we don't have more kids that is what I will miss the most, the pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding. I won't miss the sleepless nights though. So we will see, not sure I want to give that feeling up.

  7. I miss being pregnant. We're trying right now and it will be my 2nd pregnancy. i'm going to try and enjoy being pregnant the second time around.

    beautiful pictures.

  8. Hi mama. Thanks for writing this now. I recently found out Pea is gonna be a big sister. Yup. Crazy, huh? Unexpected. Life just happens.

    As I write this I am sick and tired. A part of me is also so worried. Two kids. Mother of two CHILDREN. Plural. Scary. Overwhelming. But, at the same time, how can I question it? What a blessing. Another beautiful baby to grow, to love, to nurse, and give birth to. We are so lucky. The miracle of life, of motherhood, of being a woman!

  9. I miss pregnancy too. My first one was so amazing and despite the common stressors that came with it, it was mind altering. I will never forget the way that I felt when I was pregnant...completely protective, completely in love and completely motherly.

  10. 2 kids in 2 years and I still miss being I crazy? Motherhood, pregnancy, nursing, and all that go with it empower women and make us feel alive--how could you not miss that?

  11. That Katy Perry video made me cry too at that part. The whole video was really moving.

    I loved being pregnant. And can't wait to be pregnant again. Pregnancy is really the most magical & empowering thing ever.

  12. I definitely miss it, especially those precious movements inside my belly. That incredible sense of connection unlike anything else. My mom told me I would miss it and she was right.

  13. this was beautiful. the image of fireworks is perfect. love it. I loved the feeling of being pregnant but my back pain with both pregnancies was debilitating and I couldn't walk. I miss the idea of growing my baby inside and feeling him and knowing I was nourishing his little body and soul with every move I made.

    p.s. Have u seen the latest TIME magazine - it might be last month's but the cover is a pregnant woman on it and it's ALL about how all our conditions, illnesses, diseases etc are traced back to our time in the womb. fascinating stuff.

    i also loved the images u posted esp the one with the skeletal image of mama and baby. amazing.

  14. i just had a baby two weeks ago, and as miserable as my last month was, i find myself missing being pregnant also! ALREADY! i agree...never felt more alive than when i was in labor...both times. it's a crazy, insane, beautiful experience that i am so glad i've had the privilege of knowing twice. i look forward to the third time around whenever that may be :)

    beautiful pictures, and i LOVE your blog!

  15. I have recently discovered and started following your blog.
    This is such a heartbreaking and beautiful post. Tears of empathy and knowing fall from the corner of my eyes as I read it.
    You're right-it is such a change, in an instant-like a flash of light, in the blink of an eye. From one mama to another-I hear you.