Happy Father's Day

I want to wish my husband a wonderful Father's Day. I was going to write something for him like I did HERE and HERE and for more father/son cuteness go HERE but apparently didn't have to since he wrote one of the most beautiful blog posts I have ever read. You can go HERE and read about the life lessons he wishes to pass onto C and Hendrix.Just for the record I cried my eyes out reading it.

Apple Pickers.

Oh Hello readers. Sorry I have been MIA but life lately has been insanely over the top crazy busy and complicated. Yes, Complicated. I'm not complaining but it is what it is. There for I have been distracted and by distracted I mean totally ignoring all the overwhelming feelings and bottling them up inside.

So for a minute let's ignore the fact that everything has flipped upside down, leaving me shaken and dizzy. We will forget the fact that there may have been suspicions of leukemia in my younger brother (test came back negative...huge sigh of relief), that my mother has breast cancer and chosen to forgo chemo or that Henry's doctor seems to be very concerned at the alarming rate to which is head is growing. Or that at his 1 year appointment we will be scheduling a long list of tests for his hearing/eyesight/possibly swelling brain and we will just focus on the positive. The easy. The simple pleasures of life.


Okay, let's talk fall.


No, I mean Autumn.





Sounds so fancy that way, yes? Autumn is here in new England which means we are in full swing of our seasonal traditions including our yearly trip to Berlin Orchards for some apple picking. We go every year. For five years now. We eat cider doughnuts, feed the ducks, and walk to the very same spot to pick our favorite Honey Crisps.

Pretty much my favorite picture of him ever

I always take about 9 million pictures and it is fun to line them up and see how we have evolved as a family over the years. Oh how it has grown and changed!

2008

2009

Through so much and so may trials and tribulations we have stuck it out and when I said "in good times and in bad" I meant it.

2010

I always feel sorry for people who have convinced themselves they don't need their family. While family may come with drama and burdens to take on and baggage you can not check it comes with so many pros on the list of life. While we are up, it is important to support those who are down so we may have the same awaiting us in our dark times. I'm proud to say I'm a good shoulder to lean on and I am even more proud to say I have some sturdy ones surrounding me.

I don't know what it is about this time of year but it always feels like a new beginning. Forget New Years, now is when I feel ready to keep resolutions, make lists and check off to dos, and push forward.

and each year we apple pick and it is always a bit of a time marker for me. Much like an anniversary it is another little celebration of a year well done, a year stuck together.

While normally I try to be really aware and present in dealing with my problems, in the here and now, I'm going to push them to the back of my mind. Ignorance may not be bliss but the colors of fall, the warmth of a hand held, late night snuggles in bed with homemade ginger snaps, and a pudgy baby in glow in the dark PJs are absolute, pure and strong bliss. So I'll be raising my glass (of warm apple cider) to looking forward, a strong sense of self, and a loving family.

Cheers.



Click below more amazing pictures. My lovely husband put his Iphone pictures on my computer and I swear they are waaay better than mine pictured above. I love seeing the day from his perspective.
You get a really great view of Hendrix and his serious love for his apple. (eye spy major apple chunks stuck all over his face/shirt/entire body)

I Got a Bit Lost.

I have been feeling a bit bored with the Internet lately. Uninspired with the blog and just in need of a minute to actually LIVE and stop writing about living. I was a bit Internet lost and I had to find my way back.

Then there was this...





Wow. How lucky am I?





Our recent weekends have been full of a whole bunch of love and a lot of quiet. Quiet moments, relaxed evenings, easy conversations, and great food. Inspiration, getaways, and secret spots. We needed some down time.



My husband's birthday was celebrated. I'm feeling very lucky lately to have such a supportive man in my life.  He is such a great Daddy. Very passionate and committed.

Father's Day; Chapter 2

Michael and I have always been beach people.

I like falling asleep with sand in my bed.
In my hair.
In between my toes.

I love the taste of salt on my lips and the coconutty stickiness of left over sunscreen on my skin.
I like lounging in the sun and rolling in the waves.
Michael and I instantly bonded over our love for the Ocean.

and my beautiful, full of life, little piece of peach pie step son?

Well, he has always been a beach lover but...

Happy Father's Day; Chapter 1

How lucky are our boys?

Baby's Blues

When I found out I was having a boy I made a vow to try to refrain from buying a ton of blue things. I sought out brown bedding, The walls of his nursery were painted an granny smith apple green, I purchased yellow blankies and orange booties.





Little did I know that, my boy, well, he carries around the strongest shade of blue with him at all times.
And now? I buy blue in bulk cause I swear the color was made for him...

A Little Spring In My Step.

New England has decided to give up on spring. I swear we have had about three days of spring weather and all of a sudden BAM its summer here. Temperatures hit 90 this week and baby has been slicked in sunblock, teeny tiny sunglasses have been bought, and rompers were taken out of storage and carefully folded in drawers.


We have been making many trips to a secret little spot with a big red slide...











an ocean view...











and lots of clover patches for babies to roll around in.





















We bring picnic lunches of prosciutto and plums, with blood orange sparkling juice to wash it down. We pack a big,green, stuffed frog, and cozy soft blankets to cushion an afternoon snooze, if one feels so inclined.







We swing on swings. We point out insects, clouds, a boat or two. We sit under story book trees where daddys whisper sweet nothings to their littles.







One Saturday we were cozied up in long sleeves and little monkey eared hats and baby suspenders and then by the following week it was all sundresses and flip flops. Sweaty foreheads and hot, thick humidity.










I had slicked on a pretty shade of violet on my toes for all those perfect, garden party, sandal wearing, to the farmers market we go kind of afternoons. I certainly did not anticipate dipping said toes, along with a little peanuts, for the very first time, I might add, into peachy beige sand on a summer day in MAY. MAY, PEOPLE! I was not prepared.









What happened New England? What happened to perfect spring time breezes? and Peonys and gladiolas? We havent even been to our favorite kite flying spot! Or made our yearly trip to fathers day beach. All our Spring traditions are being modified and styled for the heat.



Our Friday afternoon romps to the local ice cream place are met with faster than you can lick, melty cones and hot asphalt. So late evening, dusty dusk will have to do.
Whatever the time, you won't hear many complaints from our boy. He'll take ice cream any way he can get it. Then he'll run along sidewalks, search for spiders at the park we swing bby on the way home, and practice doing the robot in the street.



Man, sometimes life is such just so fun.











But I gotta know New England,

Why the rush into summer?

I need yard saleing and flea markets. Iced Tea and dewy mornings! Playtime at parks with out burning little buns on hot slides.

What I really need is the anticipation of summer. The little signs it's on its way. I don't like to dive right in...I wanna dip my toes.

So slow down New England. Give me the Spring time I so desperately want. and need.
Let's rejoice in the in between. Lets wear layers, and sleep with the windows open so we can smell the lilacs wafting through the air. Let us head outside before its so hot we must retire to the air conditioning.
Can't time just slow down a bit?
C'mon now...

Pretty Please?

Happy Tears in a Coffee Shop

I wish I had a treasure chest so I could fill it with all my favorite parenthood moments and keep them forever. Like kissing toes in the morning and each and every time I nurse my babe to sleep while he fingers his downy curls. Like when Hendrix reaches up for me, arms stretched out and eyes lit up. That perfect piece of time when I watch as giggles escape Henry's lips simply from the sight of my face as it slowly comes into focus after an early evening nap.

The intensity of my love for Hendrix has been feverishly growing by the moment. I didn't think it could get any deeper or more primal than it has been but it does. Every day another crushing amount of true love pours into my heart, gets pumped out and runs its course through my body and i feel it down my legs and in my toes.

It is truly a wonder. Having children is this insane magical part of life I am so lucky to get to experience. I want to bow down and just weep at the thought of never having this. It's hard to imagine I could have even existed before I had this love. Before I had him.

My little peach, plum, applesauce.

I get why women carry pictures and post 90 million pictures on facebook. Pictures of these mundane things that now seem miraculous. Because they are. All of a sudden a smile, a sneeze, a step taken are bigger than the Eiffel tower, more beautiful than a Caravaggio. A parents pride is like a sweeping plane, vast and wide and seemingly never ending and so we create photobuckets and flikrs and we fill them with all those moments of magic.

and Ive come to accept that maybe I wont visit every continent or see exotic locales or cure anything let alone finish college. I might never own a home or even bother to bake an apple pie from scratch, I'm sure there is a lot I'm missing out on but holy f**k people I created a LIFE.
A human!! and maybe he wont do all those things either but if he loves and is loved than I am the most accomplished person to ever exist. Then I live contented and I die happy because I produced love and sweetness and beauty.


This was supposed to be a post about breastfeeding and my insane attachment and love for the whole process but Ive gotten deterred and now I probably sound like some crazy, obsessed mother but maybe I am and so f**cking what.

Deal with it! I talk incessantly about my baby lately and I'm sure it's annoying but I'm still in the throws of this new human rocking my world and it will calm down, it'll be less fireworks, less big bang. ill stop seeing the Aurelius Borealis in my boys eyes, I'll stop spending hours breathing in his breathe as he sleeps, roll over to my pillow instead of nuzzling my face into his velvety hair and we will separate some but the attachment we have now, I'm basking in its warm, gooey sunlight.

This wont be the last of this kind of post I'm sure ill have more days where I can not contain all this love in my little body and i feel like i might burst and spray these walls with little rainbow sparkly hearts and giant yellow smiley faces and cupcake sprinkles (cause that's what love must look like right?) and here I am in the coffee shop with my sunglasses on to hide the tears of happiness, of thankfulness, that I have something so profound to call mine.

thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you

****We interrupt this regularly scheduled program to tell y'all that my baby just CRAWWWWWLLLEEEDDDD to his daddy! CRAWLED. AGGGGGGGGGdhjsgfhmhfcghzjhgzhd****


Oh and these beautiful pictures are by Hendrix's cousin Jill. Check her stuff out HERE.