Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Yuck. I Feel Like Complaining.

Google image search responsible parent and this is what you get...

Okay. I've got some complaining to do.

It seems that everywhere I go people think I am Hendrix's nanny. OR a very young teen mom.

I look young. I get it. I could pass for 16 which is ten years younger than my real age.

I'm 4'11. and a half. I have to throw in the half because when your this short that half is like a freakin mile. Also, I weigh 88ish lbs.

I'm the size of the average 5th grader.

I'm sick of being small. I'm over it. I really don't see some crazy growth spurt in my future so I've always just dealt with it. I used to wear high, higher, the highest heels, and cute little dresses and I worked that whole petite thing into the ground.

But. It's different now.


 
I want to be taken serious. I wanna wear business suits and mom butt jeans and banana clips.Drive a station wagon, have lots of bank accounts with money in them with savings for the kids, and wear sensible shoes in the winter. I want to scream out loud "I'M THE MOM" but since running around the playground yelling at the top of your lungs would probably garner more negative attention I try to retrain myself. I desperately want to exude that 'Hai, I'm an adult.I'm responsible! I swear! I feed him well and bathe him and care for him just as good as you and your JC Penny casual and Revlon lipstick" kind of vibe.

Not that any of that matters to me.

BECAUSE IT DOES NOT.

Truth be told I don't want ANY of those things. If I wore mom butt jeans and clogs and old Navy Fleeces what not I would probably sink into a deep depression. I love my "look" and I don't want to abandon who I am but I am so sick of people thinking I'm 17.

Why do I even care?

Honestly?

I feel like Hendrix deserves that. A lot of the other moms at the playground sit around in their little old lady only Best Friends Forever circle and H and I are left out.

I have no problem being friends with those who dress nothing like me or have vastly different taste in music entertainment social life EVERYTHING but they don't seem all that interested in hanging with the young mom. Even though I'm not that young.

Ugh, this post is horrible. I'm not even making sense but whatever. Let's pretend we are sitting at the table with a cup of coffee and I'm just a friend rambling, k? Forget grammar and punctuation and all that other bloggy crap.

What do I do? Just throw in the towel and start shopping in the Newport News catalogue and start watching Nancy Grace?  I'm like the only chick in her mid twenties trying to age herself.

What am I gonna do when H is in grade school and I look younger than his classmates?

Side Note: The more I blog, The more I learn about myself. Today's Lesson?
  I seem to have a very warped perception of adulthood.

22 comments:

  1. haha!! awww.... who cares!! your a smokin' hot mama. it doesn't matter if your short, look 10 years younger than your real age, look 10 years older, have tattoos, piercings, wear or don't wear mom jeans, dress sassy or just be a sass. welcome to the world of mom, where everything will always seem like a competition. you have to get this idea of what a mom is "supposed" to look (be, talk, walk, whatev) like because everyone has an idea of what it should look like. just be hendrix's mom and be proud. the key here is to JUST BE.

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  2. amen sista! thats totally what i needed to hear!

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  3. I literally just got home from the playground with Finn and was feeling the same exact thing when I was leaving! I'm not as tiny as you, or as fashionable for that matter but I just feel like I don't belong. I'm really self-conscious about the fact that I'm not married. I feel like anytime I talk to one of the "momjean" moms that they are looking for that ring on my finger and thinking I'm an irresponsible slut. make sense? Haha it's ridiculous. Oh and btw this is one of my favorite posts of yours.

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  4. What do you do? You revel in the fact that you're so smokin'!

    In all seriousness though, I do know how you feel. I'm looked at as "the irresponsible parent" since I'm young. They just assume I was a promiscuous troubled teen who's child is going to turn into a delinquent. And since I don't listen to the Wiggles in the car I'm selfish, and wearing wedges is too vain and...

    But you know what? I love my clothes. I love that my son can sing Violent Femmes lyrics with only the joyful fervor a two year old possesses. I love that my mind is mine and mine only, and Jack's is Jack's and we meet each other half-way. I love how my family works.

    And I wish we lived closer together so we could swap mixes and juice at the playground.

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  5. I know what you mean! I am only 24 and feel like a loner amongst all the 30 something moms in our area. My husband also tries to age himself. He let's people think he is 30 so they take him more serious in his position in the business world. Otherwise he is concerned they will think his success is a fluke. When we are 30 we will want 25 back!

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  6. Nobody cares about your "look". Try being yourself. Nobody cares if you look younger. And I doubt you will look younger than your child's schoolmates. You seem really hung up about your looks, just saying. We get it, "your the Mom".

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  7. haha so awesome! I had/have the exact same problem. I'm about 5'3" and 110 lbs, with tattoos and usually dyed black or red hair. People always look at me like I'm the nanny. I do in fact get along great with all the Mexican nannies at the parks near my house. I've come to despise all the other sweatsuit wearing moms and I'm glad I'm not included in their stupid mom-cliques. I'd rather be in the nanny squad. But it's definitely hard to get to this point. It took me a long time to feel comfortable on the playground and there are still days when it bothers me. So I feel ya. It helped when I finally found a mom friend that was just like me that I could go to the park with and snub the other dumb moms with. Good luck lady. It will get better! Just hang in there and realize you are WAY cooler than those other moms and they don't include you because they are jealous of how cool you are. They wish they could be like you!

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  8. I may not be 88lbs (feel lucky! haha) but I too was always short -5ft & not an inch over- and looked young for my age. To this day I am always the Mom on the playground outside of the "Mom Circle" or the one standing off to the side at Sebastian's soccer practices (which he's quitting b/c BOTH of us hate it) as all the Mothers scream "GET THE BALL GETTTT THE BALL!!!!" to their FOUR year old and talk to each other as I stand there awkwardly and nobody even says Hi. I make the effort to join in, make conersation, but you end up getting blown off. Having a child or getting married in your twenties used to be common, but nowadays you're treated like a teenager who got knocked up. Jose and I aren't married yet, so I get "the look" all the time because I don't have a wedding ring on -I've actually had some women make comments to my face. I just had this discussion with my Mother the other day because I am REALLY beginning to HATE it. I have had some Mothers ask me about my financial situation (because people in their twenties are automatically poor and need welfare?) well, I don't, Thankyouverymuch. SO I guess what I am trying to say is I TOTALLY understand. Just because I am not 40 doesn't make me an irresponsible parent, or my son's NANNY!!! Just ignore it all and be yourself <3

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  9. UMMM helloooo! I feel the SAME way! I look young! Even in the hospital room they talked to my mom about things and not me! LIKE when my sons body temperature dropped. They didn't even aknowledge me, and talked to my mom who had come to be with me! She finally had to say: "I am not the babys mother! Talk to the woman laying in the bed!"

    I am a young mom. I am only 23, but it still sucks when people look at you like you are still in high school! I never feel like I can break into the "mom group" either! I started my own in Omaha, and that seemed to help! I advertised online, and found several other "younger" moms that felt the same way I do!

    You could try that!

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  10. You don't need a special id or a special uniform to be in the Mom club. Anyone who thinks differently needs to remember that it's a big world out there and it doesn't revolve around their coffee klatch.

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  11. it must be the weir side of the family because i still get carded everywhere i go and i live in vegas. gets annoying fast. be who u are all that matters is you and your family are happy and healthy. and i think you look fantastic. from one cousin to another.

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  12. ok seriously, who cares what other moms (or anyone else) thinks!??! i'm 5'6 but i still have ALWAYS looked younger than i am and i embrace and love it!!! think about it.... we're gonna LOOOOOOOOVE this in our 30s, 40s, 50s, etc! every mom that once dismissed that you're on the "same level" as them (lifestyle/responsibility wise/etc) are gonna wish they were now on whatever frickin "level" they had placed you on to begin with.

    just be yourself.. always always always..

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  13. Even if we want to not care, it's easier said than done to dismiss the looks you get or being blown off. I definitely can relate. I'm sure the other moms are jealous -- at least that's what I like to tell myself! Keep being your stylish self.

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  14. I have to admit, I poke around your blog from time to time. Candi tells me about it mostly. When Amaya was first born we never thought about what you talking about. Candi is about the same size as you and I am not sure if she catches it but when we are out in public I sense all the weird looks and convos people have on the way by. We took Amaya swimming for the first time at a campground my parents stay at down the cape. The woman stopped us and asked if we were over 18 because children need an adult present at the pool. It kinda blew my mind.

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  15. im glad im not the only one feeling this way! it has nothing to do with my actual "looks' i could give a rats ass about that really, its more that i feel judged for not looking a certain way and I dont want H to miss out on playdates and what not because of it.

    Amanda i wish we lived closer too. total sad face. i think we would get along so well.

    Anthony-that has happened to me. I had a fed ex guy ask me if my parents were home to sign for a package!

    Christine-i think it is! I swear ill be getting carded until im 40.

    Anonymous-quit being a lil baby and say who you are.I KNOW who you are but you should just say it. Trolling on someones blog you dont like is lame.

    I'm a 'fashion' girl. always have been, always will be. I love fashion. I adore getting dressed up. It has nothing to do with how i actually look or my "looks" but being an individual stylistically has always been important to me. I wear what i love, if you think that makes me vain well then, 90% of women are right there with me.
    plus, your not fooling anyone, ive seen your facebook and you obv care about how people perceive you.


    and to al the rest of you...I HEAR YA LADIES! xo. you all rule.

    p.s. i think that moving to the city will certainly help. The burbs are so one sided and while i love the big yards and the fancy playgrounds, i crave the city life and its welcoming arms.

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  16. You just have to be that chick. Like, when you go to the park- sit down right next to those moms and ask how old their little ones are, where they live, etc. It may be that these moms are just uncomfortable around your obvious coolness. Also? The 88 pounds with a baby may fuel the jealousy! When people ask if I'm the nanny I always thank them for being so kind. Even if it was supposed to be snarky.

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  17. Also: my favorite is when I meet neighbors and they ask if we rent. No asshole.

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  18. You must be paranoid also, because I never implied that I dislike you. I stated that you seem really hung up about your looks. This whole complaint thing was more of a feel sorry for me cause I'm not taken seriously as a mom. We get it, your a mom and so are millions of other women who have far more issues than what you are complaining about in this blog. Seriously, it reminds me of a spoiled brat complaining that someone else got more cookies than they did.

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  19. Try not giving a shit what other people think and focus on your family, yeah?

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  20. hmmm if YOU didnt give a shit about what other people thought you wouldnt be anonymous,no?

    obviously you are scared that...I dunno, I won't like you anymore? Or that others may disagree with you? something must be making you behave like a little coward.

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  21. I feel the same way. Im 5 feet like Anthony said, wish I weighted 88 pounds but Im 110 and I get those looks all the time. When I was pregnant and would go out to either the mall or anywhere I would get those looks like where the hell is the mother in this situation, if the parents were there more then maybe she wouldnt have gotten pregnant so young. I wanted to so many times just stand in the middle of where ever I was and scream Im 21 not 15, Im a responsible adult stop judging a book by its cover you asses, but never really did. Anthony and I went to a wedding Expo in Boston when I was 7-8 months pregnant and I got the worst looks for 1 being pregnant and 2 being at a wedding expo, so many people even the vendor's were giving me looks like I was some teenager pergnant it even went to the point where they wouldnt give me samples and just looked past me. Its horrible I love that I look young dont get me wrong but geez people stop judging a damn book by its cover. I still shop in the juniors section I joke with Anthony about the "mom" clothes and say what if I wore those do you think Id look weird. I hate it also. Now that we have Amaya and she is walking and a crazy 19 month old people look at us as we are babysitting or that she is one of our sisters,and when we say something to her like Amaya look at mommy or daddy or this is mommy's you cant have coffee the looks start and if they could kill we'd be killed.

    Just ignore them that what I do it def is annyoing but thats all you can really do with out starting a huge argument

    Its' Candi for some reason it wouldnt let me just put my name.

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  22. you and anthony totally get where im coming from. you both nailed it on the head.

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