One year. You are a whole year old. First off, How did I survive a whole year? A year of waking up 5 times a night and breastfeeding and not letting you fall down stairs/poke your eye out/ break your face/meet your demise some way or another. I totally rule. I have been at this a year and I am actually doing a decent...No, not decent, a great job. Yowza. I am so proud.
Then there is you.
You and your effervescent smile and silly lil personality. You are so strong and have overcome so much. One year and you have given me a lifetimes worth of love and happiness.
So what's next lil man?
Where do we go from here?
I'm so ready for the future and all that it brings.
You are starting to look like me more and more every day. You certainly have your Father's (and Brother's) eyes but now there is a hint of me in your smile, your chin, the shape of your mouth and the scrunch of your nose.
You are very curious. Adventurous, even. You have turned simple tasks like a walk in the neighborhood into a journey.
You discover uncharted land.
You collect many a
It is amazing how you have shed new light on everyday nothings.
You are a walker now. Sometimes a runner although that usually ends in a face plant. You have no problem letting go of my hand to wander away.
You love to eat. Guacamole, salsa, and sweet potatoes sprinkled with cinnamon are some of your favorites. You like things spicy and hearty, full flavors.
You know where your toes are and you try to snap your fingers.
You are obsessed with animals, especially dogs. You pat all your stuffed puppies and even try to cuddle your doggie board books.
I have a confession to make. Being a parent is hard. Not like I had thought it would be. Emotionally you have to have such a strong foundation.
I worry a lot. Worrying is far more work than I had ever imagined it would be.
Sometimes I even feel like I'm failing you. I wish I had a solid career/big house/money in the bank for you. I worry that I don't have enough faith or the right kind of faith or a spiritual path to take you on. I worry that I won't be able to protect you from those that will want to hurt you or use you. I fear you will become addicted to something, anything, and I won't be able to fill up the space it inhabits. I fear I wont be able to secure anything in the future for you. All the unknowns and things that are out of my small hands.
I carry the weight of the world for you.
I hope you know that I'll always love you. There are no conditions here. I don't care about the details like who choose to love, your political or religious stance and what you decide is you passion.
All I really hope for you is that you live. Really Live. Drink life up and never lose a lust for it.
Happy Happy Happy Happy Birthday.
I love you,