Is it me or has the blogging atmosphere changed tremendously in the last few months? I love that people are finding success through their blogs but I miss the days before sponsors and scheduled posts. What happened to just blogging what was currently inspiring you? All these posed photo shoots and contests and delicious recipes that I cant cook and crafting projects I could never come up with, it's too much for me. Everything is so perfect. Perfect instagrams and pinterests and vimeo accounts. I can't keep up.
I'm having a hard time dealing with all these internet pressures.
Truth be told MY LIFE ISNT PRETTY ENOUGH FOR PINTEREST.
and i'm okay with that.
I took Hendrix to the craft store today to buy supplies for homemade Valentines. I wandered the aisles, grabbing doilies and googley eyes. About 20 minutes in I realized I had a cart full of pink crap but I wasn't having fun. I was majorly stressed out. I had no plan. I should have googled or downloaded an app or picked up one of those holiday themed magazines you see at the grocery checkout for crafting ideas. For a minute, I panicked. I felt inferior and incompetent and most of all, I really didn't want to let Hendrix down. He deserves pretty craft projects. He deserves a picture perfect life with home cooked meals and organized playrooms and color coded bookcases and a tidy laundry room with lots of natural light. I was spinning. There I was, Wednesday morning in Joanne Fabrics with tears in my eyes and pipe cleaners in my hands.
I looked down at Hendrix with his big eyes and sugar sweet smile and chubby knuckles and thought
I took him of of the cart, grabbed some plain cards, and let him run free in the sticker aisle. He picked out five sets. Fish and puppies and ice cream stickers. None of them having anything to do with Valentines day. All of them having something to do with what brings him joy.
He kept saying "Thank you so, so much Mommy, Hendrix so, so happy"
Then we came home and he colored like a mad man and stuck hamsters on top of ice cream trucks and made fishies kiss boston terriers and I thought
Life is the little things. The things you cant stick on a virtual pin board. The things that would make Martha Stewart shudder.
I am not that mother. I will always be in awe of those who can and who do and who bake and who organize and who pull it all together. But that's not me.
In this house, in my arms, my boy is loved.
It's messy, and imperfect, and it's ours.
Our unorganized, mismatched, overflowing, never on time, always in love life.
I did good today. Those valentines? They are the most beautiful I have ever seen.