Friday, November 20, 2009

Morbid Mommy

Since having my son I can’t seem to shake this helpless feeling, like I have no power to protect him. The worst part is I literally have started to think up ways he could get hurt…or even worse, die. Some of the stuff I imagine is pretty twisted…not to mention completely illogical. I mean there is the normal run of the mill concerns like dropping him but some of it is straight from a SAW movie. Like not sitting his swing too close to the TV in fear that it’ll randomly fall over and smash his lil Smooshy body to smithereens or not walking by the stove with him in my arms because it might magically turn on by itself and set him ablaze. This is the mild stuff, kiddies. I lay awake at night thinking this crap up. I’m already dreading getting our Christmas tree cause the cat might jump in it and knock it over onto bebe causing a very unmerry suffocation situation or a pine needle may poke him in the eye or maybe one will attach itself to his binky and he will swallow it and then we will have to go to the hospital to have it removed from his bowels… get the picture. I’m driving myself crazy!
I'm hoping this will go away once I have settled into motherhood a bit more. I do however, have a sneaking suspicion that there will always be something to worry about. Lets just hope those worries become more rational otherwise I'm headed for the loony bin.

1 comment:

  1. i totally agree i sometimes jump at my own thoughts an try so hard to think of what i can do to protect her, an then i fear the outside world. Her growing up an going out into the unknown scare me so much that i hug her a lil tighter