Thursday, May 6, 2010

Happy Tears in a Coffee Shop

hendrix1

I wish I had a treasure chest so I could fill it with all my favorite parenthood moments and keep them forever. Like kissing toes in the morning and each and every time I nurse my babe to sleep while he fingers his downy curls. Like when Hendrix reaches up for me, arms stretched out and eyes lit up. That perfect piece of time when I watch as giggles escape Henry's lips simply from the sight of my face as it slowly comes into focus after an early evening nap.

The intensity of my love for Hendrix has been feverishly growing by the moment. I didn't think it could get any deeper or more primal than it has been but it does. Every day another crushing amount of true love pours into my heart, gets pumped out and runs its course through my body and i feel it down my legs and in my toes.

It is truly a wonder. Having children is this insane magical part of life I am so lucky to get to experience. I want to bow down and just weep at the thought of never having this. It's hard to imagine I could have even existed before I had this love. Before I had him.


hendrixbyjill

My little peach, plum, applesauce.

I get why women carry pictures and post 90 million pictures on facebook. Pictures of these mundane things that now seem miraculous. Because they are. All of a sudden a smile, a sneeze, a step taken are bigger than the Eiffel tower, more beautiful than a Caravaggio. A parents pride is like a sweeping plane, vast and wide and seemingly never ending and so we create photobuckets and flikrs and we fill them with all those moments of magic.

and Ive come to accept that maybe I wont visit every continent or see exotic locales or cure anything let alone finish college. I might never own a home or even bother to bake an apple pie from scratch, I'm sure there is a lot I'm missing out on but holy f**k people I created a LIFE.
A human!! and maybe he wont do all those things either but if he loves and is loved than I am the most accomplished person to ever exist. Then I live contented and I die happy because I produced love and sweetness and beauty.


This was supposed to be a post about breastfeeding and my insane attachment and love for the whole process but Ive gotten deterred and now I probably sound like some crazy, obsessed mother but maybe I am and so f**cking what.

Deal with it! I talk incessantly about my baby lately and I'm sure it's annoying but I'm still in the throws of this new human rocking my world and it will calm down, it'll be less fireworks, less big bang. ill stop seeing the Aurelius Borealis in my boys eyes, I'll stop spending hours breathing in his breathe as he sleeps, roll over to my pillow instead of nuzzling my face into his velvety hair and we will separate some but the attachment we have now, I'm basking in its warm, gooey sunlight.

This wont be the last of this kind of post I'm sure ill have more days where I can not contain all this love in my little body and i feel like i might burst and spray these walls with little rainbow sparkly hearts and giant yellow smiley faces and cupcake sprinkles (cause that's what love must look like right?) and here I am in the coffee shop with my sunglasses on to hide the tears of happiness, of thankfulness, that I have something so profound to call mine.

thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you





****We interrupt this regularly scheduled program to tell y'all that my baby just CRAWWWWWLLLEEEDDDD to his daddy! CRAWLED. AGGGGGGGGGdhjsgfhmhfcghzjhgzhd****


Oh and these beautiful pictures are by Hendrix's cousin Jill. Check her stuff out HERE.

6 comments:

  1. Adriana, your words are definitely NOT annoying. They are beautiful, inspiring, and everything else that it takes to reach someones heart. I Enjoy reading your posts on a weekly basis. Hendrix is such a little ray of sunshine. He is absolutely adorable. And he is obviously so lucky to have such an amazing mumma!

    <3 cousin Courtney

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  2. this was such a beautiful post.
    and riiiight about here:

    "and Ive come to accept that maybe I wont visit every continent or see exotic locales or cure anything let alone finish college. I might never own a home or even bother to bake an apple pie from scratch, I'm sure there is a lot I'm missing out on but holy f**k people I created a LIFE.
    A human!! and maybe he wont do all those things either but if he loves and is loved than I am the most accomplished person to ever exist. Then I live contented and I die happy because I produced love and sweetness and beauty."

    is where i started crying.
    such a beautiful, true statement!

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  3. Your sentimental moment painted a beautiful picture and it makes me so grateful for the life I've created. My son is growing so fast before my eyes and every day I try to soak up as much as I can. My heart bursts with love for him every day.

    Thank you for visiting my blog! I hope you have a great Friday! :)

    http://thewhitebluesky.com

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  4. wow that is so beautiful. great post.

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  5. My children are in their twenties, and it was so wonderful to be reminded of all those beautiful little things we forget to think about.

    Thank you.

    SITS sister.

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