Thursday, May 19, 2011
Hendrix and I have a ritual in the mornings. Climbing out of bed he always clings to me like a little koala, arms curled around my neck, his fingers in my hair, and his teeny legs tightly wrapped around my waist. We start up the coffee which I have gotten pretty good at one handed. He sinks into me and we wait for the gurgle of the coffee maker and the bitter, warm smell. The only sounds are the drip,drip,drip, the cat mewoing for attention, and a bit of traffic outside our windows.
I love the way he molds to my body. It reminds me of when he was actually inside of me. Living quietly, curled tightly, and content.
We have a playlist that we listen to only in the early hours, its always the same, each song has its place and the order is so ingrained that it feels slightly odd when listening to one of the songs elsewhere and the proper playlist song does not start up next. Its a rhythm and a pattern and I love its familiarity. The first song on the list is Skinny Love by Bon Iver and every morning we dance. We sway softly and sometimes if I am lucky he will lift his soft baby head off my shoulder and he will plant a kiss right on my lips. I love this. So much and so does he. I didn't realize what a ritual it was until Skinny Love came on pandora late in the day and he went to the office, to our spot in front of the window, and started swaying back and forth.
It is nice to be quiet with him. Lately he go go gos and for him to sit still, perched on my hip, swaying to the music with me even for just a minute or so, it's heaven. It's enough to fill up my mama tank to full. I know after those quiet minutes in the morning it will be a long day of Henry trying to find his own way in the world. A way without me. Usually before the song is even over her is already off and running. He's in the window yelling at cars or pulling the cats tail or climbing into the cabinets. He asks for help here and there, he will nurse periodically, but for the most part he just wants to explore on his own. Sometimes I feel like I go the whole day without Hendrix looking me in the eyes, he is so busy discovering and conquering.
I love that kid. So much. I just can't even get a handle on it.