Monday, March 22, 2010

The Not So Evil Step Mother; Brotherly Love.

The bond between siblings is something only those of us with them can understand. I’ve never been jealous of only children and Ive always wanted a couple of my own. I have three brothers who I love dearly and I can Not imagine what it would be like not having them in my life.
When I became pregnant with Hendrix a lot of people showed concern for C and how he would be effected by the new baby. I never worried about it. Not once. C had some fears but for the most part he was pretty excited about his impending big brotherhood.

He talked to my belly.
He colored pictures to hang in the nursery.
He collected old toys to save for Hendrix.
He suggested names. and paint colors. and baby books.

We kept telling him...

“Just wait and see…he will be here and you will just love him. Just like that. One second he isn’t here and you don’t know and then poof! He is here and you love him. Like your heart always loved him but it was keeping it secret”

When I went into labor with Hendrix, C was in the waiting room. He stayed there for over ten of the thirty hours of my labor..waiting and waiting for the babe.

A bundle of nerves waiting for his bundle of joy.
The introduction to a new life. A bigger heart. A changed future.
Brother's building forts. and legos. and lifelong bonds.
Snowball fights.
Shared bath times.
Shared secrets.
Rides to school.
A best man.
Nieces and Nephews.
Family vacations.
Annual traditions.

Unfortunately because Hendrix nearly died in front of us and was swept off to the NICU, we couldn’t exactly bring him up to meet him. Even though he had waited and waited and it was nearly one in the morning.
When he finally got to meet his brother the following day we had to warn him. ‘You won’t get to hold him. He has lots of wires attached to him, but he’s ok".

He walked down that hall in the NICU with the bravest little face and when he walked in the room he went right up to Hendrix.
No hesitation.
He just stared.
Then he teared up.
He let the biggest sigh out and he said

Just like I knew he would.

He held his hand and made us take pictures and cooed at his brother.

As Hendrix has grown C has not complained once. Not when he cries. Or poos. Or drools on him. Okay, sometimes he complains when he drools on him.
Christian has a little “baby” voice he used when talking to Hendrix.
He eats his toes.
He washes his hair in the bath.
He makes up nicknames for him.

Little Chub Chubs. Smiling Willie. Baby bean.

**This weekend** when it was time for C to go to his mothers, for the first time since Hendrix was born, he got really upset about leaving his brother. I knew this would happen eventually but wow it hit us all like a ton of bricks. It’s one thing for him to show sadness over leaving his dad. It’s inevitable and a part of divorce that really sucks but this was a whole new form of heartache for all of us.

When he said good night to Smooshy Sunday night, Christian held his hands and H just kept giggling at C. For no reason. Just cause he was there. This obviously pulled at my step-son’s heart strings and he started to tear up. He wouldn’t let go of H even though it was past his bedtime. So they just sat there.

Two brother. Holding hands. One giggling hysterically. One with tears of longing in his eyes.

When people say being a parent is hard, its moments like these that they mean.

**This post was written a few weeks ago...**


  1. Aw thats so sweet. I am going to show that to my husband to try and convince him to have more babies.HAHA

  2. It's so true, nothing is better than having brothers and/or sisters. They were, are and always will be there for you. I am the youngest of 7 children, most of them are half siblings, but for me there's no such thing as "half". They are all my real siblings.

  3. way to make me cry first thing in the morning! what a beautiful post. This kinda makes me want to space my two out longer than I already planned

  4. Wow... oh so touching. What a way with words you have!

  5. Adriana I'd say one fourth of your blog posts make me cry. You write beautifully. <3

  6. Adriana,
    The boys are so lucky to have you!